What's wrong with Hawkeye?
by eclect
Summary: Oh, boy! What's wrong with Hawkeye? She's not acting like herself! [My gift to NaCh0MaN for her bday][drabble]


Summery: What's wrong with Hawkeye? She's not acting like herself. [Royai My B-day gift to NaCh0MaN

**A/n: Happy Birthday Alice (a.k.a. NaCh0MaN)!!!!! I slaved over this tirelessly for a whole week, plus trying to keep your prying eyes from seeing it, so you HAVE to like it.**

**For everyone else: enjoy (or not)**

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The Lieutenant was late. Later than the Colonel himself. All in Mustang's unit in Central were nearly being driven mad by all the speculations and theories of why she was late when the said woman arrived.

The door slammed open. There was the very late 1st Lieutenant. She must have been running because she was breathing heavily and Black Hayate came skidding around the corner at full speed a few seconds later. Hawkeye stomped through the office, sending angry glares to each of her co-workers in turn. She marched up to Mustang and slammed her fist down on his desk.

"Permission to speak freely, _sir?"_ she sneered.

Mustang, terrified that his angry lieutenant would turn her deadly sharp-shooting skills on him, he squeaked out a small "yes".

Suddenly, the said sniper sank to her knees, the hand on Mustang's desk the only thing keeping her from falling completely onto the floor. Her body racked with sobs and she wailed out, "I'm sorry sir! I didn't mean to be late! My clock was broken and I overslept and…and…WHAAAAA!!!!" she continued sobbing in front of her shocked superior's desk.

After a few moments, Hawkeye stood up and wiped the remainder of her tears from her face sniffling. Then, much to everyone's surprise, (or dismay) she took the Colonel's face in her hands and kissed his lips boldly. She broke off before Mustang had any chance to respond and strode back over to her own desk. She went back to her work, but not before winking impishly to her commanding officer. For a moment, Mustang had a mixture of shock and befuddlement on his face, until a large childish grin took it's place.

Furey jumped out of his seat, shouting, "HA! I knew Hawkeye would be the one to make the first move!!!"

When he pranced over towards Havocs desk to demand his winnings, shots rang out and two bullets lodged themselves into the wall behind his head.

"Don't you dare…" the 1st lieutenant growled dangerously.

All the other men in the office quickly, and not to mention, silently, hid beneath their desks.

"What's wrong with her?" Breda whispered to Havoc through the crack in their desks.

"I think she's PMS-ing…" the latter whispered back.

"Defiantly PMS-ing." Falman interjected.

"PMS-ing?"

"We'll explain later, Breda."

Just then, Maria Ross walked into the office. She calmly evaluated the situation and addressed the 1st lieutenant.

"Riza, I have some reports from Armstrong. Could you go through them and remove all the references to his lineage and 'artistic abilities'?"

"Sure, Maria." replied Hawkeye calmly.

"Thanks so much. Later, then."

The lieutenant nodded silent thanks to Ross when she placed the small stack of files in her IN box.

Hawkeye finally flicked on the safety on her gun and sat down to resume her paperwork. Slowly, the other men in the room emerged from their hiding places under their desks. When Hawkeye smiled innocently at them, they all visibly cringed. "Go on, boys, finish your work." She requested warmly. Fearing the wrath of a certain blond she-devil, the all immediately complied.

They continued in this manner for the rest of the day, silent, except for the occasionally sobbing or sound of a clip being fired into the wall when Hawkeye misspelled a word. Three cracked inkpots and one smashed pencil sharpener later, it was finally time to go home. Each man sighed with relief when they escaped shooting range of the Colonel's aide. One by one they left until only Mustang and Hawkeye were left.

She straightened the last of the files and gingerly placed them into her OUT box. She slung her bag back over shoulder and stood up, walking towards the door, but hesitating in front of the Colonel's desk. She fiddled with the top button on her uniform. She glanced at her commanding officer out of the corner of her eye then looked away, blushing. Mustang glanced up at her, then went back to signing the documents in front of him. Hawkeye opened her mouth as if to say something, then abruptly closed it when she caught the Colonel watching her.

Hawkeye, still crimson, murmured something her couldn't understand.

"Huh?" he questioned.

"I said…" she started mumbling again.

"Riza, I still can't under stand you."

"By Ishballa!!!" she roared, "I SAID that I was wondering if you would go out with me tomorrow night!"

The childish grin was back, and Mustang nodded eagerly.

"Good." She glared at him for a second, then stormed out of the office, whistling for Hayate.

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The next day, everything was back to normal. Hawkeye was early, strict, and calm, no mood swings today. The only things that were different was that Mustang was engrossed in his thoughts and both Furey's and Breda's minds were filled with all of Havoc's and Falman's knowledge on PMS and hormones. That's not very extensive, since they still didn't even know what PMS stands for.

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"Colonel, are you ready to go?"

"You mean you were serious? You still want to go?"

Hawkeye nodded seriously and closed the filing cabinet, her eyes still sparkling mischievously. Mustang grabbed their coats, the only ones left on the rack. He held open the door for his aide to pass through.

"Thank you, sir." She said distractedly.

"Roy," he insisted, "When will you ever learn? It's Roy!"

Hawkeye chuckled and left the office, 'Roy' following close behind.

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**I am BACK!!!! Heehee! Again, Happy b-day Alu!**

**Now, a message to my lovely readers who randomly chose this off of the page or my even more fabulous readers who have me on their Author alert: DON'T REVIEW!!! Instead, I ask you to go to this link (take out the spaces, of course):**

h t t p / w w w . f a n f i c t i o n . n e t / u / 1 3 6 5 5 2 1 /

**Yeah, well go there and PM a 'Happy birthday' to Alice for me! She'll LOVE to be wished a happy birthday from complete strangers!**

**Baibai!**

**VENGANCE OUT! **


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